I don’t want to recognize it, but I have to compare my own success with my friends. But this is a fool’s job – I am a independent author and, for any reason, many of my friends are lawyers and advisers. They are busy climbing the corporate ladder when I am writing my little stories here at home.
Despite knowing better, I’m in a terrible trap where I often increase their milestones, such as groups, job titles, salaries – and then on my own way and think why I can’t find those things. Then I come to the terrible conclusion that the reason for this is that I am not doing like them. As you can imagine, this has not been great for my self -esteem.
According to the neuropSiologist and the director of the brain in New York, according to Sunm Hafiz, we all support ourselves with others, somehow. “It’s made in our DNA,” she says to herself. “We are worried about how the world sees us.” We look at others. Although this is not naturally a bad thing, research shows that doing so often causes shame, jealousy and anger – especially if you are on social media where everything is distorted and everyone is killing it.
If you permanently weigh your price and question your progress, stay with me. I worked with my physician to relax this bad habit and eventually say that it is possible to stop killing myself unnecessarily. Below, Dr. Hafiz has shared three easy tricks with some of my own insights – which will help you stop glamorizing other people’s lives and will be more grateful for what you are going.
Consider what comparisons you feel.
Before you can change how the comparison affects you, it helps to understand what you are actually feeling. Dr. Huffs recommends being familiar with the feelings and ideas that your success compares to others. The answer may be clear – UH, I’m just jealous! But deep digging can expose frustration, shame, lack, or other amazing reactions. Identifying these feelings – and accepting them without a decision – is often the first step to take action on them healthy. Research even shows that the name of your emotions (a technique called an effective labeling) can reduce their severity and make them easier.
Once you know what you are feeling, Dr. Hafiz recommends asking for yourself Why?. You can assume that you are jealous of a friend’s achievements, but the real problem may be insecurity with your own pace or family expectations. You may have grown up to hear that an old sibling defeated himself about falling behind him, and that mentality has been trapped with you. Or maybe you’re burned, incomplete, or worried that you are not on the “right” way. According to Dr. Hafiz, the comparison is often not about other people – how satisfied (or dissatisfied) with your own life. She says, “Other people only hold the mirror.
Of course, not every comparison is a deep emotional wound. Sometimes, you just know what you want and feel restless to see others arriving there first. If this is the case, this move will not require much of your time-just a quick check-in before going to the next tip.
Take note of your achievements.
One of the major problems when I sucked in myself in comparison, I completely ignore my achievements. But the truth is that I Is In my career, big and developed, even if my path looks different from my friends’ journey. This has brought us to the other indicator of Dr. Hafiz: Think about dismissing you when you examine the definitions of other people. “You may not have others, but you have other things,” says Dr. Hafiz.
