19. Go for double the fun with a rabbit vibrator. This kind of vibe has both internal and external portions (two “ears”) for a best-of-both-worlds situation, Tanner says. Typically, the part that goes inside is also curved to hit the G-spot, while the external portion is nubbier and designed to offer rumbly vibrations to the glans clitoris at the same time. If all goes well, you might even achieve the coveted blended orgasm, an orgasm stemming from stimulation of multiple erogenous zones at once (which can amp up the pleasure).
20. Put your hips into it. No matter what kind of toy you’re using, Dr. Nolan recommends pairing it with Betty Dodson’s “Rock and Roll” method, which involves clenching and releasing the pelvic floor muscles quickly in succession, she says. When you thrust your hips into the toy and activate those muscles, you’re bringing blood flow to the region, she explains, which is key to making any kind of clit stimulation (or sexual activity, for that matter) feel as good as possible and land in a blissful orgasm.
Frequently asked questions about clitoral stimulation
What’s the best technique to use?
Whether you’re touching your own clit or your partner’s, it’s important to know that no two are the same. “Once you’ve met a clitoris, you’ve only met one clitoris,” Tanner says. Meaning, there’s no single type of stimulation that will feel best across the board.
All the experts SELF spoke with suggest starting slow and gentle. After all, a 2023 study found that the clitoris is very sensitive because it has around 10,200 nerve endings. (For reference, your entire palm has about 17,000.) So you don’t want to do too much too quickly.
Using a light, soft touch also helps get the blood flowing to the vulva, which makes the tissue swell and increases sensitivity, so that anything you do down there feels better, Tanner says. It takes time for the clitoris to become engorged, “just like a penis becomes erect,” she says. “The same way that touching a soft penis might not do much for somebody, stimulating a soft clit may not either.” As it becomes harder, warmer, and wetter, though, you’ll want to build pressure gradually, Dr. O’Reilly says.
How do you communicate with a partner during clit play?
As with any kind of partnered sex act, it’s essential to make room for ongoing communication. If you’re diving in with a new partner, both of you should share what you’re into and not, Dr. O’Reilly says. If there’s something particular you’re curious about when it comes to clit stuff, let them know and invite them to share their thoughts, she adds.
