I’ve been (mostly) single for nearly six years now, and feel like I’ve used every app under the sun. From this accumulated experience (and plenty of hit and miss), I’ve built up a pretty solid profile. And I can also recognize when others’ profiles are a bit “meh.” While I’m no expert—that’s what love coaches and dating app insiders are for—I spoke to a host of them to learn what the most common dating app mistakes are and how to fix them. From the wrong photos and generic opening lines to bad attitudes and intentions, the following six mistakes can easily be rectified. You’re welcome.
1. You’ve chosen unclear, old, or confusing photos.
Photos are the first thing we look at when we receive a like or decide to swipe right. While a bio and prompts are arguably more important, we get to these after our split-second decision to match, which is based on the visuals. For this reason, you want to use your best ones and ensure they reflect you as a person.
Avoid outdated pictures that no longer look like you, photos that hide your face, and too many group shots, Logan Ury, lead relationship scientist at Hinge, tells SELF. “It’s great to show off your social life, but don’t make us guess which one you are,” Ury says. London-based matchmaker Sarah Louise Ryan also recommends steering clear of overly filtered snaps and photo trends, such as mirror selfies or overly stylized travel shots.
What to do instead: Ensure your photos are clear, current, and mostly of you. Of course, there’s no harm in including friends—but they shouldn’t be the first photo. “Show yourself when you’re happiest, whether that’s hanging out with friends or doing something you love,” suggests Shan Boodram, Bumble’s relationship expert. “I would recommend a smiley headshot as your lead image and photos that show your hobbies, interests, and lifestyle. It could be a photo of you playing sports, at a festival, with your pet, on your travels, at one of your fave cafe spots, or reading in the park,” adds love coach Vicki Pavitt.
2. You’ve written an incomplete or “lazy” bio and prompts.
A common qualm for the experts? Profiles and bios that are incomplete or a touch generic. According to Ury, cliché prompt answers such as “Debate this topic: pineapple on pizza” are overused and will not impress. “They fall short in showcasing individuality and creativity that spark deeper conversations,” she notes, before adding that one-word prompt answers “can make it harder for matches to ask meaningful follow-up questions that help them get to know you” and should therefore also be avoided.
