Admitting to using AI usually elicits one of two reactions: An enthusiastic “Isn’t technology great???” or a more skeptical eye-roll from someone who dreads a future resembling the once-fictional Her.
I used to be more like the’ latter until last Wednesday night, when my loud neighbors decided to host a rowdy get-together at 1 a.m. What I needed was a text message script—a kinder, more socially acceptable way of saying “Can you STFU” without making our next elevator run-in super awkward. So I turned to ChatGPT as a desperate, last-ditch effort. Long story short? No more late-night noise—and we’re still on great terms.
While there’s been plenty of chatter about all the ways AI could ruin our lives (and don’t worry, we’ll get into that), this surprisingly useful moment made me wonder: Well, what else could ChatGPT be good for? Sure, I wouldn’t expect an algorithm to solve nuanced, existential questions about whether to end a long-term relationship, or how to finally “fix” my seasonal depression. But when it comes to uncomfortable everyday conversations, maybe, just maybe, it’s got some potential.
So, being the ever-curious journalist, I decided to throw a few of my own relationship dilemmas at ChatGPT to see what kind of advice it could offer. Then to get a sense of how solid those suggestions were, I tapped real, very qualified human therapists to evaluate them. And finally, we rated the ChatGPT’s answers on a scale of 1 to 10. Here’s where AI really showed promise in helping us navigate awkward, difficult scenarios with the right words—and where it fell short.
1. Telling a messy partner or roommate to be cleaner.
Question: How do I tell my partner I want them to be a little cleaner without nagging or micro-managing?
ChatGPT answer: Hey, can we talk about something real quick? I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed by the mess lately—it’s not a huge thing, but it’s been kind of wearing on me. I totally get that we both have different thresholds for clutter, and I’m not expecting perfection at all. But it would mean a lot to me if we could both be a bit more mindful about keeping things tidier. I think it’d make the space feel a lot nicer for both of us.
Therapist says: This response isn’t terrible, Ciara Bogdanovic, LMFT, owner and founder at Sagebrush Psychotherapy in Los Angeles, tells SELF. It does a good job of acknowledging the other person’s perspective. “But it wasn’t done in a way that I think was very effective,” Bogdanovic says. For instance, the request to “be more mindful” is way too vague. “It’s difficult to get a result when you’re not being explicit and clear,” she says, suggesting you spell it out for them instead. Straight-up ask your S.O. to fold and put away the laundry, or make it clear you’d appreciate the dishes being done within, say, 24 hours. The more direct you are, the more likely you’ll see the change you’re hoping for.
Score: 6.5/10
2. Negotiating your rent in the most convincing and respectful way
Question: My landlord raised our rent, and I want to ask if there’s any way to lower it or at least keep it at the current price. What’s the best way to respond and ask for this?
ChatGPT answer: Hi [Landlord’s Name],
